To record the scientific findings of a trans person transitioning with birth control pills.
Been coming out to most people I know except for 1 guy cuz idk, I think it'll be fun when he finds out lol.
Anyways, touched my boobs again today, and just...fuck...it feels nice, I actually felt like I wanted to moan at that moment, the strange part is, it felt good in a combination of a sexual and non sexual way, it's like getting hugged in a warm way but getting sexually aroused from it in a very intense way.
Ive also been getting really cold, the soviet winter used to have nothing on me, now it does.
My right eye and leg hurt, fun, yesterday it was my entire body and left eye though, so ig I can't complain, although I'm not sure if this is because of hrt or something else.
Not sure if this is hrt related but all my limbs hurt, and I feel down af. Someone pointed out I may start having some deficiencies in my body, fun.
Nipples still hurt btw, sometimes I feel like they're gonna fall off. I also tried touching my breasts yesterday and...it...made my stomach feel like it was spinning, as if there was a horizontally laid out stick in my stomach, and an organic mesh in the middle, a very rusty organic mesh, and touching them made the mesh spin, that is the best way I can put it, it isn't painful though.
Also, the way I get my hormones with conservative, zionist, trump supporting parents is by ordering them via a food delivery app and in there I order them by a supermarket, but today the fucking estrogen didn't fucking arrive, so on Monday I'm gonna have to get out of my school early, go to the nearby pharmacy and buy it there, and if they ask whytf am I buying it, I have a girlfriend and we're gonna fuck.
Soooooooooooo...remember when I said my boobs were growing, well turns out they weren't, but now I'm 100% sure they are, my nipples have been hurting for 4 days straight now, and I did some research and found that, nipple soreness actually starts when your breasts start growing, so they've just started growing, I think I've actually entered girl puberty now, I won't experience it as an actual girl but...it will be a very interesting 3-4 years of my life.
After realising this fact I just...laughed for a solid 15 minutes on my bed.
but do you know what this means, only reader of this stypid website????!?!?!?!!1/1/1?!?!?1?!1/!?!?//!? This means, that the experiment is proving to be a TOTAL SUCCESS!!!!!!, so far, I have proven that you CAN turn yourself into a girl with a specific type of birth control pills, again, DON'T do this if you're planning on transitioning, you probably deserve better than me.
Today I woke up and my nipples were hurting, but because I was still half asleep I said oh y'know, it's probably normal like when my arm hurts or my leg hurts, and then I gained consiousness, and I said wtf, my boobs are gaining sensitivity now, cause I remember hearing from someone that your breasts get sore when you're on hrt, after that I just laughed for a solid 5 minutes.
Upping my dose to 6mg per day, nothing else has happened.
Bought my second box of estrogen.
I'm starting to up my dose to 3mg/day, this will raise the amount of medication I have to buy but it will still be very maneagable (around 2.5 euro per month instead of every 3 months, the box has 28 pills)
I think my boobs are starting to grow...they feel a bit different and I think bigger, if I touch them my stomach hurts slightly, sadly I fear like this may be a sort of placebo effect.
Also, my libido has been dead for a while lmao, i've also felt less depressed in a way.
I had a hot flash tonight, and a trilogy of dreams that were recorded in the dream journal, found in the main page of the site.
Started taking estrogen, I'm taking Levonorgestrel/Ethinylestradiol, a cheap birth control medication for women, however I do think I have to say, do NOT do this yourself, I am taking this because I don't really value my life much, if you have the chance go to a doctor, or find some other better medication for transitioning, I'm also starting with 1mg per day.