Sorry guys deleted all my schitzo posts, gonna see what I do with this now...
I have once again deleted all my schitzo posts, the blog v2 has been archived FOREVER, if I ever become a famous or semi famous person I will release both archives of the blog, but until that day comes, I will keep updating my dream journal, and this will only be mundane stuff that happens during the day.
I petted my grandparents dog today.
I also ate a banana after eating an unusually high amount of food and felt like shit.
I love having girl smelling hair...
I mean, I've never smellt a girl's hair before, but I've started using girl shampoo and it makes my hair smell really nice, so I assume this is how girl hair smells like.
Lately I've been thinking, I do want to leave this country, I want to go to Iceland or New Zealand, they're both meaningless in the global stage, war will never reach them, well maybe New Zealand, but it's unlikely, there is no crime, there are good social protections, there is peace among the people, but if I did I would just be a coward, I would just be running away from everything a lot of people aren't able to, but if I had someone to run with then I would definitely do it, I'd find a way to still help my homeland from one of these countries and I'd continue helping there, I would be happy like that, but I know that's never going to happen, I've been trying not to think too much about it, but the thought always comes back, and really in this position I wouldn't be of much help anyways, whenever I get home my bed just calls for me, when I start to lay on it there's nothing that can pull me out.
Maybe one day I won't be scared of death anymore, and maybe that day I'll finally be able to end my life, but I just hope that by that point I would've helped enough people to deserve a happy afterlife, if there is one.